CRACKTASTIC
by hurt-but.healing
Summary: Obviously a crackfic. Filled with hilarious humour, awesome action and romance! ...maybe I should put runny romance? Hmm... what else could I put? Rhino romance? No. Rocky? PFF! I give up.
1. Chapter 1

CRACK-TASTIC!

STARRING: Akatsuki

One day the littlest Uchiha was walking near the Akatsuki hideout, when the freaky shark guy walked out and screamed "lollipop!" Saucegay screamed like the little girl he is and hid behind a tree, he quietly sang "The Ding Dong Song" to calm himself down.

Fishstikz just walked away, Saucegay ran after him and asked "Why did you do that!?"

Fishstikz looked at him "Do what?" Saucegay stared up at him with cute eyes about to cry.

"Why did you take my Christmas tree, Santa Claus?" Fishstikz looked away and jumped into the trees to get away from the thing.

The littlest Uchiha ventured into the hideout, feeling less sad. He walked into Weasel-chans room, the glanced around hoping to find his aniki. Itachi was sitting on the ground, cosplaying Ed and attempting to preform alchemy. He had drawn a transmutation circle and clapped his hands together... nothing happened.

"Dang! I must be doing something wrong!" The wrinkly Uchiha yelled. Sasucegay hugged his Niisan and screeching YAOI fangirls ran in... Itachi pushed Saucegay away and continued his alchemy. The fangirls left, then the littlest Uchiha asked, "What are you doing?" Itachi looked at him with his cold eyes...

"Wanna have a tea party?" He asked without emotion. Saucegay started to cry furiously. Then Itachi looked at him and started to cry with him, hoping it would make him stop. Kakashi ran by dancing like Napoleon Dynamite to the song, "Just Dance." Saucegay and Weasel-chan looked at him oddly and pushed him out the window.

Kakashi eventually digested in Zetsu's stomach and Saucegay started to scream at him.

"I will burn the Icha Icha Paradise series!" He turned to his brother, "So about that tea party..?"

While Itachi and Saucegay were enjoying their tea party, Pein walked in. He wasn't expecting Saucegay to be there. He jumped back, he wasn't hiding himself at all because he felt he could trust Itachi to not give out his identity.

"Itachi, who is _this_?" the words slithered out, his voice sounded sinister while malice lingered in the air. "And-- what the HECK are you doing?!" Itachi and Saucegay stared at him until Saucegay stood up. Itachi looked at his ototo nervously.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke, and we are having a tea party! Don't you know ANYTHING, geez you're stupid!" Itachi slapped his pale hand over Saucegay's mouth but it was too late. He had insulted him, the leader of Akatsuki. Pein looked down at the teenager and scoffed.

"Your one to talk! Do you know who you are_ insulting?" _Itachi stood up and glanced at Pein then looked at the ground. Saucegay was going to say something but Weasel-chan cut him off.

"Our deepest apoligies, Leader-sama. He means no harm, he is just a bit--

dimwitted." Itachi glared down at his younger brother. Saucegay flinched, then he walked out knowing he wasn't wanted anymore. But then he ran back in, wanting the teddybear he had used for the party, then once again... left.


	2. Chapter 2

CRACK-TASTIC!

STARRING: Akatsuki

Meanwhile inside Itachi's room, Pein was having a very deep and _serious_ conversation with Itachi.

"OH. MY. GOD. ME TOO!" Pein squealed holding holding Itachi's hands, they were agreeing on how much they both_ loved _that one western movie, "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly."

Itachi laughed and suddenly stopped, he had a GREAT idea. "Hey, Pein..." He smirked and playfully nugded him in the side. "Do ya wanna have a -- showdown?"

Pein's eyes narrowed suddenly taking on the impression that Itachi was the big, bad guy that he HAD take down, or he would be a weenie! "You, Uchiha, are. Going. DOWN!"

"Think again! I have really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, good shooting skills!" Itachi said, acting oh-so sure of himself. Pein glared.

"That was too many really's! This make Pein mad!" He picked up a chair and smashed it violently over Weasel-chan's head making Itachi fall over unconcious.

A loud voice boomed through the room, "K.O.!" Pein screamed like a little school girl and ran out waving his little arms above his head. Konan looked in and a sweatdrop formed large on her forehead. She tsked tsked as she continued down the hallway. Suddenly Sasori appeared with a giant mustache and smiled a toothy grin at her.

Thus ends yet another part of this story! Review's would be appriciated! And if you review i'll write another chapter AND give you a cookie!


	3. Chapter 3

CRACK-TASTIC!

STARRING: Akatsuki

"Um, Sasori? ... WHAT THE FUNK IS WITH THAT?" Konan's loud voice echoed through Akatsuki, Hidan ran in with a football and hit Konan in the head with it. "HIDAN!" She screamed, resulting Hidan's hair to fly back and stun him.

"RUN HIDAN, SAVE YOURSELF!" Sasori yelled and Hidan quickly came back to his senses and ran as fast as his legs could take him. Konan screamed in frustration as she flew down the hallways chasing Hidan. "Well, at least I'm safe..." Sasori smiled happily as he strolled down the hallway. He turned the corner and slipped on Zetsu's banana peel, "AHH! OH EM GEE!" Sasori yelled as he flipped over.

"Gaspe!" Zetsu gasped. He ran over to Sasori and his banana peel. "Are you okay?!" Zetsu asked sympathetically.

Sasori sat up, "Yeah, thanks for asking."

"You poor thing!" He picked up his banana peel. "Did that big meanie Sasori hurt you?" Zetsu asked, referring to his banana peel. Sasori's mouth dropped as he stared at Zetsu.

"YOU FUNKING SON OF A BATCH OF COOKIES!" The puppet mast yelled as he slammed Zetsu's head into Deidara's head. Poor Deidara didn't realize just going for a walk could be so treacherous. Zetsu screamed as he collasped to the hard floor and got knocked out..

"K.O!" The loud voice once again echoed through Akatsuki.

Deidara crossed his arms and pouted angerily at Sasori. "Take this, un!" He sculpted a small clay bird and let it set off near Sasori, resulting it to blow up and knock out Sasori too. "Un." He stated as he stomped down the hallway.

Suddenly Hidan ran past Deidara and Konan pounced on him. "AHH SAVE ME DEIDARA!" Hidan screamed.

"Get a room, un." Deidara said and he walked away, leaving Hidan to be tortured under Konan's wrath.

"AAAAAAAAAH HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!" Hidan pleaded. Konan pulled all of his hair out. "MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" He yelled desperately, Kakuzu ran over and laughed... well, sorta.

"El oh el." He said watching Hidan get knocked out from looking at his bald head in the mirror. Konan stood up and dusted herself off then walked away quite pleased with herself.

"K.O.!" The voice echoed, referring to Hidan.


End file.
